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The Good, The Bob, and The Ugly
Play Fans (If for some reason you find this amusing) #Bobby Moon - Well I wrote it, so yeah.... #Hermit #Jeremiah Garland (aka Bull Frog, aka Garlic Bread) #Caddius Bane Slightly Less Vague Plot Summary The Good, The Bob, and The Ugly is the sequel to the play, Good Cop, Bad Cop, Bob Cop, also written by Bobby Moon. In this new production, several of your favorite characters are back and ready for a new adventure! The EITC attack for the destruction of rebel piracy is still on! Can the pirates defend their camp and their freedom? WARNING This play is a comedy! If you accept a role, expect to be made fun of for humorous purposes! If you are a reader, reading this play could cause any of the following: #Uncontrollable laughter #Laughing to death #Confusion #Awkward facial expressions #Emotional scarring for the remainder of your life Characters Main Pirate Characters *Good Cop- Basil Bridgebane *Bad Cop- Bill Plunderbones *Bob Cop- Bobby Moon Main EITC Characters *Jeremiah Garland *Cad Bane *Johnny Oldtimbers *Johnny Coaleaston Minor Characters *Delusional Squirrel Man- Benjy Macmorgan *Scone-Stealing Whackjob- Edgar Wildrat *Rebel Pirate- Johnny Sea-slasher *Rat-Throwing Rebel- Hermit *Rebel Pirate- Jack Pistol *Mysterious Writer Guy- N.R. *King of Salad- Caesar *More characters will probably be needed, so if you see an open role in the script, ask for it in comments! Author's Thanks Bobby Moon would like to thank the cast and all of the fans that have supported this production. Just For Hahas *Vote Here For the Best GCBCBC Quotes!! *Vote Here For the Best GCBCBC Characters!! Gallery *The gallery will be added as the play is written. Act 1 Scene 1 'One Month Later... ' (October 27, 1744) (The setting is the same rebel camp of the previous play. Wooden chairs are set up in even rows, occupied by many rebel pirates wearing black. Bill Plunderbones and Basil Bridgebane are standing around a small, square hole in the ground. Basil is holding a black ostrich hat in his hand, about ready to place it into the hole. Bill is speaking to the crowd.) Bill: Because we do not have the remains, we will bury her favorite hat in her honor. Moon, you will be missed... (Everyone has a solemn expression. Bill walks over to the grave and Basil is about to place the hat inside when a voice is heard from behind some nearby trees.) Bob: That was actually really touching, Billiam! Feel free to use it again when I'm actually dead! (Bobby Moon emerges from behind the trees. There is a long, jagged scar across her right cheek and her left arm is in a sling. Moon looks toward the crowd.) Bob: You didn't think I'd miss my own funeral, did you? Now all you people disperse! Nothing to see here! (Moon walks toward the grave.) Bob: (To Basil) And give me my hat! Why the brig were you going to put it in that mud pit!? (Moon grabs the hat out of Basil's hand and places it on her head. She smacks Basil on the back of his head with her good arm. Everyone is frozen in place, looking dumbstruck.) Bill: (Stuttering) But you were..... But you were... You were dead! Bob: ALMOST dead, Billiam. Almost being the keyword. Now you're probably all confused, so I'll explain back in the meeting tent. (All of the pirates are still sitting in their seats, extremely confused.) Bob: You heard what I said! Disperse! (Everyone is too nervous to argue with the crazy ghost chick and quickly all go their seperate ways. Moon turns to Basil.) Bob: By the way, I got you a present! (Moon hands Basil a bag of scones.) Basil: SCONES 0_0 (Basil immediately looks around for the Scone-Stealing Whackjob, who he does not see.) Basil: (Thinking to himself) Just to be safe, I'll wait unt we get inside... (The three "cops" begin making their way to the meeting tent.) Scene 2 *Note- This scene was written with the author's 1,000th edit! (The cops arrive at the meeting tent and all sit down. Moon puts her feet up on the table and grabs a piece of chicken from it.) Bob: (With mouth full of chicken) I haven't had any real food in weeks! Basil: (Quietly) Where have you been? Bob: Well after being SHOT, I woke up in some gypsy's house. Apparently I was on the verge of death or something between the bullet and the broken arm, and she was good with healing. I tried to leave after the first week, but she refused; Almost as stubborn as me, I guess. She didn't want me leaving until I was "up to it," so I stayed for a while. Bill: So everyone else in the world has thought you were dead for the past month except her? Bob: Yup. (While Moon is talking, Basil opens the bag of scones and is about to eat one, when a looming shadow appears over him. Basil is tapped on the shoulder by a large hand. He turns around to see the Scone-Stealing Whackjob.) SSWJ: LOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOOLOO!!! (The SSWJ shakes his spear in the air and grabs the bag of scones. The SSWJ runs out of the tent and Basil does not pursue him.) Bob: (Laughing) I missed the weirdness of this place! Bill: This weirdness is still at stake, Bob. The EITC attack could still be on, and it's only four days away... Basil: After that little party at their fortress, I'd say that it's DEFINITELY still on. At least now we have a secret weapon. Bill: (Pointing at Moon) Her? Basil: No, the new doomsday device I've been working on! >:D Bill: (Concerned) WHAT doomsday device? 0_0 Basil: There isn't one, I just didn't want to be so cliché! (Basil sighs.) (Bob and Bill look at each other like "OMG Basil's losing his mind.") Bob: Well, we better start planning our defense. We're running out of time. Scene 3 *Note- This scene was written with the author's 1,000th edit! (Four EITC lords are sitting around a large banquet table, all eating a fine meal and drinking expensive wine.) Bane: Well done, Lord Garland! Another rebel falls to the mighty EITC! Coaleaston: Indeed! (Holding up his cup) To Jeremiah! All Lords: To Jeremiah! (All of the lords 'clink' their cups, and continue eating and drinking.) Garland: Many thanks, gentlemen! I am so honored! Oldimbers: And after this loss, the pirate scum will never be prepared for my master attack! (Oldtimbers begins laughing and pours himself some more wine.) Oldtimbers: Even now, our forces are preparing for the attack! (The lords walk to the large window overlooking the front gates. About two-hundred soldiers are marching through the gates and toward the temporary camp set up on the lawn. There are so many men, the sound of their synchronized marching can be heard from inside the building.) Bane: There is no way this plan could possibly fail! Garland: So true! (The lords all laugh, and 'clink' their cups once more.) Scene 4 (Moon is in the field behind the rows of tents with her broadsword, slashing at multiple practice dummies. She looks odd because her other arm is still in a sling. Bill and Basil approach from behind.) Basil: Whatcha up to? Bob: (Still slashing at the dummies) Training. I'm too out of practice. (Bill and Basil glance at each other.) Bill: Basil has planned some training programs for the whole camp, in preparation for the attack. Bob: I'll add that on to what I've planned for myself. Basil: Moon, you don't have to. You've had a tough couple of weeks, you should take it easy. Bob: (While cutting the head off of a dummy) Not a chance, it's against my philosophy. Bill: Just don't do anything stupid, Bob. Bob: Such as what? Sneaking into an enemy compound, pretending to be a Lady of Wales, and getting shot? Now when have I ever done something like that? Bill: You know what I mean! Don't make us take all of your weapons! Bob: (Laughing) Yeah, like you could find them all! But I'll ATTEMPT to be careful, sure thing Billiam. (Bill's eye twitches at his nickname and he trudges away. Basil follows him. Moon goes back to slaughtering the dummies.) (Bill and Basil enter Bill's tent. Bill's knife is still stuck in the support beam from the last play.) Basil: You know we can't let her fight. She's beat up as it is... Bill: I know, and I have a plan.. Basil: Does it involve scones or a doomsday device? Bill: No! And stop adding extra lines, it's destroying the suspenseful scene-ending that I just created! Basil: Sorry, Billiam! Bill: BASIL!! (Bill then proceeds to chase Basil around the camp with a frying pan, receiving strange looks from bystanders.) Scene 5 Category:Fan Plays Category:Fan Stories